Spike

It wasn’t like I didn’t want to see the girl anymore, it was that I couldn’t. Went though hell and back again for her, did all I could to get the bloody soul and she still turned me down. Still I wasn’t going to up and leave her side, I stayed there and waited for her to hopefully change her mind or well make it up for that matter. Never did know what she wanted, guess that’s how it would always be with her. But then at the end something was different, she told me she loved me. Could go and believe that but how could I? I knew she was just saying that to give me one last thrill before I went out which I appreciate her for doing that.

But what if she did mean it? Then what? I was just the biggest fool in the world for not believing her then, not like it’d make a difference now. She was done with me with us, she moved on to someone that well seems like everyone in Rome is in aw with. The bloody Immortal, still couldn’t believe those words when I heard it. Buffy Summers, my Buffy with him. Oh no, could never be with me because I was a vampire and oh wait Angel was a vampire to but he had a soul. So I get the soul and still no good but somehow, just somehow the Immortal is good enough for her. What has this world coming to.

Glad I didn’t just up and leave LA to go running after her. Would’ve been in a whole world of disappointment. That was part of the reason I didn’t leave I guess, knew that I only had those last words of hers. Which even though I didn’t believe them to be true, I still had them. Made me feel better bout myself. Besides I could rub them into Angel, have to love that look on his face when I told him that she said that. If I would’ve found her she couldn’t taken those words back and told me she moved on. Which now I know she would’ve since she had the Immortal.

Guess things worked out for the best. If I wasn’t round then who knows how that final battle would’ve turned out. Yea, saved the day once again. Guess that’s the way the world works for us champions if you even want to call us that. Time in and time out we risk our lives to save the world for everyone else. Do we ever get a rest of a break? Doesn’t bloody well seem like it. Even when we do die for the world we don’t get a break. I just wanted to rest in peace but there was other plans for me.

Now that all that in LA is over and done with, I don’t know what to do with myself. Had Illyria try to follow me round for a bit but I finally got Angel and Gunn to take her. Basically with the promise I won’t continue to bug the hell out of Angel. Course he didn’t know I was really going to find Buffy, not that was my first plan anyways. I mean sure I wanted to but figured it would be pointless. Then again I don’t really fancy her being to happy with the Immortal, something just doesn’t sit right there. So I figure I’ll just head on by and well watch, just see how happy she really is with him. Nothing can go wrong with that right?

Been trying to track her down for the past few days which let me tell you, she’s not the easiest girl to track down. Used to be, but that was in a small town with only one slayer. But then I caught her scent and saw her. She was just walking though the park, surprised she was alone and not with her big hunk of clad Immortal.

I take a few steps to get a better look at her. Still looked beautiful as ever, course I wasn’t getting that good of a view but still I could see her enough. Though I couldn’t see her enough, I wanted to get closer to her. As close as I could mind you.

I take a few more steps but that’s when I heard it, the huge cracking sound under my boots. “Bloody hell” I mumble and move a bit behind a tree hoping she didn’t hear it.

I couldn’t bloody believe, there she was in my arms bleeding to death, her last breath was going to come soon unless I did something and something fast. It was only but a few minutes ago that I was minding my damn business when I heard the sound. That’s right, was in the basement of Summer’s house and I heard what sounded like a gun shot. At first I didn’t think too much of it, ok I lied, so I thought much of it. But didn’t do much not until I caught the familiar scent of blood travelling throughout the house. Which of course couldn’t be good. First I got all worried that it could’ve been her, could’ve been Buffy. Already lost her once to the jaws of death couldn’t bear to see her again. Ok so maybe I was a sucker for the slayer, what can I say man’s gotta have his pleasure somehow. ‘sides it was that bleedin’ chip that made me go all soft, yep that was it. I was bad to the bone still was and always will be. Just so happens the slayer likes a little bad up in her.

I made my way closer towards the scent which I realized not to much later that it wasn’t the slayers. Nope, I could smell her scent from a mile away. It was someone else’s which might I say I could tell this was some powerful blood. Makes perfect sense once I found the blond witch laying on the floor covered in blood. Got all that magic up in her making her powerful. I could still smell Red’s scent, it was fresh from a minute or two ago. Stupid bint, leaving her girl here to die. Probably thought she was already dead. Guess I don’t blame her, not likely for the human ear to hear that faint heart beat that was still going. Of course it was slowing down with each second but it was still there. Not like she could’ve done anything anyways it was too late, unless she would’ve used that magic mojo of hers. Guess we’ll never know.

Now I could just let the girl slip away which in turn would make Red all sad which would lead Buffy down the same trail. Would hate to see the slayer like that. ‘sides I would do anything to make her happy, anything to prove to her that I love her. Now her loving me on the other hand would be hard. Says I’m just some soulless monster that I can’t love but I know what love is. Always has, even the Judge said Dru and I reeked of humanity. What can I say, I’m love’s bitch, always have been and always will. Of course though Angel got with her, not that I didn’t get with her, I got with her all right but not in the way I mean. Soulboy only got her because he had a soul, not that he even bloody asked for the soul. If it would’ve been Angelus then he would’ve ripped her throat out, actually probably would’ve only played games with her, never did kill a slayer himself. Me on the other hand I loved her without having a soul and as much as I like to blame it on that bleedin’ chip it can’t be. Dru saw the slayer dancing in my head as she so like’s to say before I got that bloody chip shoved up my brain.

If I save the girl I’ll make her happy. Problem is, only one way to save the girl. As I see it the girl didn’t have an ounce of evil up in her, as long as we watched her at first we could make her good. Don’t think there’s anyone she wants to get revenge on either so all will be good and the slayer will see how much I care.

Girl was already bloodless so we can skip the whole drinking from her part, not that I wouldn’t mind taking a taste but the whole shock though the body thing really isn’t too appealing right now.

I brought my wrist up to my mouth and allowing my fangs to piece though the skin until some blood started to emerge. I then held my wrist over her mouth and allowed the blood to drip upon her lips and finally a few drops started to make their way into her mouth. Wouldn’t be too long until she would start to rise and drink on her own.

Bloody ‘ell just what I needed. Well, more of what I needed. I go though hell and back again to get the spark for her but still it wasn’t enough. Well, not until the final moment then it was and then she loved me. Doubt she even loved me then, I know she was just saying it out of pity for me. Come on now I was ‘bout to die a champion fighting the good fight. But as anything in this world I came back, see that nice and shiny little amulet Buffy gave to me belonged to that place where Angel was working now. Yep, that place called Wolfram and Hart and behold there I am popping out of the amulet in front of Angel and company. Have to say I loved the look on Angel’s face when he say me, it was bloody priceless.

Well, instead of being my own free man and being able to leave the damn place I was all non corporal, a bleedin’ ghost, can you believe that. Let’s just say it wasn’t too bad, going all about and haunting Angel, drove him mad. But like everything even that came to end as I was slowly slipping away to some hell dimension. I bloody find out that some Wolfram and Hart spirit, named Pavayne is playing his hand at torturing me. Well, we got that one under control but I was still left being non corporal but I had to be. Getting a hold of that spirit Pavayne was more important then me being all corporal again.

So there I was back again just haunting the halls of good ‘ol Wolfram and Hart when suddenly I get a nice little package, well not so nice when a white light flashes out and leave the phones going haywire. But then there I was corporal again. Which was wonderful expect the fact that we find out something ‘bout the universe being turned into turmoil ‘cuase both Angel and I got our souls. Which leads us to the nice little goose chase might I say. Find out something ‘bout this cup that will prove which one of us is the destined one for that whole Shanshu prophecy load of crap.

Angel and I battle it out in which I prove to be the true champion and get that bloody cup to find out it was bleedin’ Mountin Dew inside. Some bloody bastard set us up, all that for nothing. I should’ve gotten something, I proved myself worth it. ‘sides as I told Angel, which he didn’t like might I add, that I actually fought for my soul. Why? Because I knew it was the right thing to do. He just got the bloody soul shoved up him by some gypsy wankers. He didn’t even want the damn thing.

Guess I should bloody leave this place now but where would I go. The damn slayer wouldn’t want me now, after I went all out fighting the good fight for her can’t just show up at her door step saying “Hunny I’m home” and expect her to be glad to see me. Just doesn’t work out that way. ‘sides the fact that I know she only told me she loved me ‘cause I was ‘bout to go out. At least now I have that from her, but if I go out there and find her she’ll probably take that back then I won’t have that memory anymore. Instead I’ll have whatever new thing it is she says to me. ‘uppose I might as well just stay here bugging the ‘ell out of Angel.

I sigh as I make my way down the hall. I intend on going to Angel’s office and cause some more problems for the stupid sod. Never could get tired of that. Stupid brood would always give me those annoyed looks. Let’s just say it was all in a day’s work.

Didn’t like that Eve too much, crazy bint went on trying to tempt us. Thinking she had some power over us. Ok maybe she did. Managed to bring us back somehow, or at least those she worked for. So there she was tempting us, only without the apple but bloody acted like it. Tempted me by saying I could sink my teeth into Tara, taste her sweet warm blood. Well, first things first, Tara was a bloody ghost. No warm blood up in there. And even if there was I wouldn’t want it, although the sound of blood is good especially to a vampire who hasn’t had fresh human blood in so long. But that wasn’t me anymore, I changed. I changed for her, the bloody slayer. Well, after that magic mojo Willow worked Buffy wasn’t the slayer anymore just one of many slayers. Yet still to me she was the one always would be the one to me. No other slayer could take that away from her. Besides its her they have to thank for there power. Without her they would just be normal girls living out there lives, maybe one or two of them would eventually be a slayer but the all the thousands of others would just be normal girls never knowing the power that could’ve came.

So I go though all this change for the bloody slayer, for the good fight. Get a bleeding soul, become a champion and then go down fighting the good fight, all for this? To be brought back by evil incorporated to become evil again? Something didn’t seem right, ok something wasn’t bloody right. Hopefully the Buffy would hear word of this somehow and come to our rescue. Not that we needed her to come to our rescue, sure we could figure something out ourselves. Besides I’m a bleeding ghost, not that I need to listen to some evil bint.

Anya did this whole disappearing act, figure I should try the same. We were all brought back the same weren’t we? So off I go, next thing I know I’m in some hall with all these men dressed in fancy suits. And who would’ve imagined, evil within some of the highest ranks. Well, actually I could always picture that, never know who you can trust these days. All the pathetic people out in the world believing and trusting in these people dressed in their snazzy suits appearing to be professional when evil was at their roots.

It was strange none of the people seemed to notice me, I guess there was some kind of trick to this. Either that or that Eve person had some special abilities to see us. But with most of ghost they have the ability to be seen or not to be seen. Must admit I could have some fun with this.

Just then Tara appeared next to me. “Look who cared to join me. Guess, you heard enough of that bint also?” I cocked my head to the side. Must admit it was nice having someone else here with me right now, only knows where Anya ran off to. “How you holding up being a ghost kitten?” I asked the girl. She seemed a bit scared, at least more then Anya or I. Us two have seen a few things in our day but Tara was new to this. Well, some of this, she was a bloody witch after all. Even bet she was in heaven before this place. The girl didn’t seem to have an ounce of evil in her, that’s why I don’t bloody get their reasons for brining her back. Sure Anya and I each had our dark history but Tara, what dark history could this witch possibly have? Could she even be evil?

(Spike's first kill after getting rid of the chip)

Arm in arm we make our way out of the mansion and into the night. I knew as soon as I felt the first drop of fresh blood in my mouth I would start to return to my old self. Being able to kill without that bloody chip going off in my head.

I glance around looking at all these pathetic humans. One of them will be my meal tonight. Just then she stops “What’s wrong kitten?”


"Feel...power...innocence...That's her there. Will she please you sire? Your night my dear Sire, this is your party. Take your pick."

I look up to see the girl Tara is talking about. “Mmm yes” I lick my lips as I can just imagine the sweet crimson blood making its way down my throat.

Slowly I begin to walk up to the girl. She glances at me and starts to blush. How cute she thinks she might get a date. “’ello luv” I say in a soft comforting voice. “Can’t imagine why a girl like you would be out on a night like tonight” She continued to smile at me as she answered;

“I…I don’t know”

I wish she would whip that bloody smile off her face. The stupid bint starting to make me feel all bad. Too much of the slayer rubbed off on me. None the less I was gonna kill the girl.

“Why don’t you let me walk you home” she nodded and gave me this huge smile. Again with the bloody smile. That’s it no more playing Mr. Nice guy. “Or better yet..” Quickly I push her against a tree pressing my body on top of hers. Turning my head to the side I change into my demonic face. The girl screamed with terror as yellow eyes stared her in the face. “How bout it luv. I just gave you a purpose.”

I could smell the fear coming off of her. So scared so weak. I loved it. I haven’t felt this great in ages. I felt like I was back on my first hunt. I run my slender digits along her neck. Her skin felt so soft and warm. I could feel her heart racing from fear. “Lets test this out luv” I give her a fake smile right before I burry my face in her neck. My fangs began to dig though her layers of skin bringing me closer and closer to my goal.

I felt no pain at all only the warmth of her blood flowing down my throat. She continued to shake until her heart got faint. Her body began to fall limp as I drained every last drop of blood from her. Pushing her lifeless body to the ground I turn to face Tara.

“Now that was entertainment.” My old self was back. I felt so alive again. Running my tongue along my lips I move in closer to Tara. I was moving like a lion staking its prey.

"Ohhh naughty witch. Maybe she needs a spanking..."

I roll my eyes at that comment. She thought this was all fun and games but it wasn’t. I managed to give out a fake smile as she concentrated on Red.

"Ohhh how quickly they forget. They forget why they rage like they do, they forget what stokes their fires."

Ok what the bloody ‘ell was she talking about. She was starting to remind me more and more of Dru each day, that crazy bint. “What” was all I managed to get out when she told me about Willow changing back to herself. “Looks as if my plan failed” I should just stake her now. She’s the one that ruined my plan in the first place. But if she could get this chip out of my head then she was worth it. I couldn’t stand this thing anymore. It controlled me and I never let anything or anyone control me before. The Anointed one tired to control but we all saw what happened to the poor bugger.

"Mmmm Now that it is taken care of, the witch is off her vengeance kick...Why don't we...play..."

Ah there she goes again. Always with the wanting. Well, I must admit I am good looking. But still did she forget the whole point to this. I didn’t turn her to be my lover. I turned her to make everyone happy. Mainly make Buffy happy. I shake my head at her “Did you forget the plan kitten? You know who I bloody want. You were for Red. To make her happy.”

[THis is a community were Tara is turned into a vampire and soon Buffy will be a vampire and Angel will lose his soul making Tara, Spike, Angelus and Buffy the new fanged four]

I looked over the girl as Tara rambled on about how sweet and pure the girl was. I could tell she was having a ball with her new senses. Every new vampire was like that. Sooner or later she’ll get over it.

And of course leave it up to the newly born vampires to lose their prey. They are always so irresponsible. Of course I as the sire have to step in. I stretch my arm out and catch her in her tracks. “Where’d you think you were going luv?” I tilt my head to the side as I look at the girl. “So fragile” I run my icy digits along her face. I must admit Tara did good. Some fledglings were stupid enough to bring back their sire any bloody human they came across. Thought they were all big and bad and that would impress their sire. No she wasn’t like them. She actually had taste in what she brought to me.

Tara starts to trail in on us, locking in the girl between us. Then she looked to me. She was waiting for my instructions. It was about bloody time the girl started to show respect. “Go on kitten”

"damn it" I shouted as I stood up. I couldn't believe it, the bloody bastard killed me. I threw down the xbox remote and walked out of the room. If I played that game much longer I would destroy it. Shaking my head I walked out of the room as Connor had just walked by. I was still getting used to Angel having a bloody kid. Not the best thing in the world having another Angel running around. Should have another Spike running around instead.

I was about to call his name as I head the front door open, I knew it was probably Angel coming back from saving some damsel in distress "Well well I wonder who that could be" I say out loud.

I head down the stairs and over to the front door as I notice two woman walk in, wait is this right. I blink a few times, and sure enough it was Cordy and Anya. Was this a dream, didn’t they die. I only heard that Anya died as I did fighting the good fight back in good ‘ol Sunnydale, but hey I guess anything was possible here. Look at me brought back after going out saving the world.

“Right then” I look at them with a puzzled look “aren’t you two suppose to be dead”

I got it back, the spark that she longed for. I got it back for her, but would it matter. She hated me as it was, especially after all that happened. A deep sigh escapes my lips as I make my way though the cemetery back to my crypt, the place that had become my home.

I could feel it now, burning inside me, bringing back all those memories. They were haunting me, every single second. I couldn't get them out. Taking another drink of from the bottle of vodka that was held tightly in my left hand as if it was the most important thing to me. But I guess it was, it numbed the pain a bit..would make them go away for a few. It still didn't matter, all those faces, all those screams and pleads for mercy were all there. They wouldn't leave, I did it all for her to become a better man not some murderous monster that she thought I was. The slayer changed me, me William the Bloody. Imagine that, the slayer bloody changed me, made me a better man. I wanted to do good, good for her. If only she knew, I would go to 'ell and back for her.

I continued until I finally reached my crypt, I push open the doors and slowly walk in to realize everything was exactly the same as it was before. I should probably just stay here for a while, wait. Im not ready, not ready to face her yet. Would I ever be ready to face her. I was now just like Angel, a pathetic vampire with a soul, expect the only difference is I wanted the soul, I fought for the soul because I wanted to become a better man. Not cause of some Gypsy curse. But still I knew none of that would matter to her.

The platinum haired vampire made his way down the dark streets that consumed the town of Sunnydale. A small smirk rose upon his pail pink lips as he had big plans for tonight. Well, the same plans he had every night, to kill the bloody slayer. A slight laugh escaped his lips as he thought about watching the slayer die. Buffy would give him more pleasure then the other two slayers he killed did.

Clad in a pair of black jeans, which were rolled up a couple inches from the bottom to reveal a pair of black army boots, a red button down shirt which laid over a black t-shirt. The entire outfit was covered by his black leather duster which seemed to fit him so perfect. He made his way towards the cemetery, hoping to catch a little run in with the slayer. Blue orbs scanned over the setting around him as he entered the cemetery.

“Here slayer slayer” He softly says to himself as he beings making his rounds of the cemetery. He lingers in the shadows so no one will notice him if he happens to come upon anyone, especially the slayer, he wouldn’t want to give her the advantage now would he.

The whole damn bloody world is turning upsidedown as things begin to change. Starting to realize that she will NEVER love me. No matter what I do. I mean its pointless..But can't a man dream? I supose to her I will always just be some monster...just some bloody monster. I just don't know what to do anymore I drink until I can't drink anymore each night, trying to get her out of my bloody head. BUt that doesn't help, no not at all. I feel as if I am lost...like I don't belong which I don't. I mean come on look at me, how pathetic am I. A vampire with a bloody chip in his head..I mean WhAT THE BLOODY 'ELL IS THAT.

Guhh I can't bloody stand the slayer and her little scoobies. Who does she think she is, just becuase she's the vampire slayer she thinks she has the right to walk right over everyone. Ha I'll show her.

I lift my pale white hands to my forehead as I hold them there for a second.

If only it wasn't for this bloody chip. But if I didn't have the chip would I really kill the slayer?

Well, of course I would. Ha, its becuase of this bloody chip that I even like the slayer. Yep, thats right, William the bloody would have NEVER fallen for the slayer if it wasn't for this chip.

Heres unsouled Spike

( No Soul Spike )

Heres my example of rping as souled Spike, for the most part this is right after he got his souled back and returned to Sunnydale.

( Souled Spike )

[ I guess I will put different examples of my rping in here for Spike. I don't know if I will actaully use this journal, other then for communities.]